Diana Kerr »

I realized something as I was setting my PowerSheets goals this month:

I really love the goal-setting process. 

Maybe you’re like me and naturally like that, or maybe goal-setting feels overwhelming, daunting.

Here are 5 tips that help make goal-setting more enjoyable for me that might serve you too!

  1. I get out of the house to my favorite coffee shop (usually). This environment helps me feel both focused and inspired.
  2. I set a date and carve out some time in advance each month to set my goals. This way I’m not cramming in the time and feeling annoyed that “I don’t have time for this.” I do have the time, because I prioritize it.
  3. I pray before I begin. I ask for God to help me set good goals (goals that are good in his eyes) and even after setting goals, to help me from getting tunnel vision on achieving those goals and missing the bigger picture.
  4. I use a goal-setting system so I’m not 100% inventing my goal-setting process myself. PowerSheets are my goal-planning system of choice.
  5. I start with the end in mind. I ask myself what I really want from October (keeping in mind God’s will–I don’t mean “what I really want” to sound purely self-serving). How do I want to feel? What results do I want? Answering those questions help me set good goals that line up with what matters. Accomplishing goals for the sake of checking them off is not the end goal–glorifying God out of thankfulness for his grace is the end goal.

I’m excited to share the October goals I set with my PowerSheets. First, here’s how things went with my September PowerSheets goals!

1. Test God in time with him

Progress made. Still working on choosing time with the Lord more often in those moments where I know it’d be valuable but my list is soooo long. As I type this I realize that I am trying to do this out of my own strength rather than his and need to pray that he helps me with this.

2. Enter tags for Divine Consign sale

3. Prepare for intentional, God-focused business + family photos with my Making Things Happen friend, Nicolette

4. Love through listening

Again, I made progress here, and by the grace of God, I think I rambled less + listened instead more than usual this past month. One comment in particular affirmed I’m doing better.

5. Dig into You and Me Forever and the action steps

6. Set up a system for content upgrades to replicate

7. Resolve QuickBooks issues and develop a system to stay on top of it better going forward

Can’t quite check this as “complete” since I’m waiting on my CPA (my dad :D) to get back to me about a question. He’s been busy though so it’s no big deal! Otherwise, QuickBooks is squared away. Alleluia! 

Weekly goals:

Goal: Do each of these at least 3/4 weeks

1. Savor a Sunday Funday Sabbath

2. Exercise at least 2 times (Other than walking)

3. Process papers and files 30+ minutes

4. Keep calories to <16,450/week (2,350/day)

I am working on improving my mindfulness with eating–eating as nutritiously as is reasonably possible and only eating when I’m actually hungry. Tracking my calories is an imperfect but somewhat effective way to measure that. I didn’t quite hit my goal this month, but God is working on me. :) 

Daily goals:

1. Pray on the ground | Goal: 20 days // Actual: 20

2. Track food in FitBit | Goal: 22 days // Actual: 24

3. Open the texting app on my phone <16 times | Goal: 20 days // Actual: 22

4. Grow in faith with Kyle | Goal: 15 days // Actual: 18

5. Practice gratitude focused on God, not my circumstances | Goal: 20 days // Actual: 22

6. Avoid phone or computer use after 8 pm | Goal: 20 days // Actual: 16

I realized how hard this is for me with Kyle coming home between 8-10 a lot of nights. I need to pivot and readjust this goal a bit and put some fresh habits/barriers in place to help me achieve my end goals of using the last couple hours of the day intentionally, being present with Kyle, and being able to fall asleep at a good time.

7. Lights out by 10 pm | Goal: 12 days // Actual: 12

Books I finished:

These and all other affiliate links in this post support our Giving Back initiative

You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity

Now, here are my October goals!PinIT


Like I mentioned, I use the PowerSheets intentional goal-planner to set and track these goals!

1. Read Sleep Smarter and implement at least 2 things from the book

2. Choose to live in a peak state

“Peak state” is a Tony Robbins phrase. It’s about changing your physiology by using your body the way you’d like to feel. I’ve been experiencing some challenges with fatigue lately, so it’s easy to slump over, walk slowly, talk slowly, etc. Instead, I want to choose to move my body as if I have energy, because it legitimately changes the way you act and feel. Look it up if my explanation completely confused you. haha 

3. Plan Erica’s baby shower

Yes, my little sister’s having a baby! Harrington’s first cousin. :) 

4. Bring joyful, listening presence to my relationships

5. Link specific prayers to tasks 

This ties in with my #1 spiritual life goal for the year! I loooove Val Woerner’s house prayers idea, so I’m stealing it. :)

6. Simplify and de-stress healthy, timely meals, especially Harrington’s meals

One month of feeding a baby has taught me: You can’t wait till 10 minutes before dinner to figure out what you’re going to feed your kid. It doesn’t work well.

7. Create a video series about clearing mental clutter

If you’re on my email list, I’ll let you know when it’s ready! Snag this freebie to get on my list!

8. Fill coaching spots of clients who end their coaching program this month

Is that you? Are you finally ready for some life change, friend? I have a couple spots probably opening up later this month! Click here for more info on Christian life coaching.

9. Reach monthly income goal

Confession: I feel so weird putting this as a goal. As much as I’m a goal-setter, I have never really set income goals in my business. Crazy, I know. I actually don’t really set metrics-related goals (even like goal #8 above) because 1) I can’t completely control them and 2) numbers are far from my end goal in my business. However, this is still a business, and good businesses make money. (They do a whole lot more than that, but making money is one important thing.) I think we shy away from this as women and often view money as icky, and I wonder if this is part of why many of us struggle to be profitable in our businesses. Not trying to ruffle feathers here–just a thought. I think you can pursue income goals AND put God/your priorities first as long as that income goal isn’t the be-all and end-all. Comment below and let me know if you feel this tension and how you approach it in your business. I’d really value your input!

Weekly goals:

Goal: Do each of these at least 3/4 weeks

1. Savor a Sunday Funday Sabbath

2. Keep calories to <16,450/week (2,350/day)

3. Exercise at least 2 times (Other than walking)

4. Read before bed instead of watching TV

5. Process paper/electronic inbox 60+ minutes

When I have something in my head, I get it out as soon as possible to clear up space and avoid anxious, overwhelmed feelings. More about that in this book. The challenge is that if you get that stuff out of your head (I either put in my Todoist “inbox” or on a piece of paper that goes in my paper inbox), you have to regularly go through that stuff. I usually go through it on Thursdays, but I’ve gotten a little behind, so I’m putting this as a regular weekly goal and telling you all about it for accountability! :)

6. Improve the efficiency of at least one thing in my personal life or business to buy back time

Examples of how I already use systems here!

Daily goals:

1. Pray + spend time in the Word | Goal: 20 days

2. Track food in FitBit | Goal: 22 days

3. Encourage Kyle | Goal: 20 days

4. Practice gratitude focused on God, not my circumstances | Goal: 20 days

5. Grow in faith with Kyle | Goal: 15 days

6. Completely wind down by 9 pm | Goal: 12 days

7. Lights out by 10 pm | Goal: 15 days

Share your goals with me in the comments or link to your goals post if you blogged them!

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  • October 13, 2017 - 6:06 am

    Kyla Shattuck - I’m such a fan of that ‘peak state’ mentality. It reminds me of Switch on Your Brain by Caroline Leaf and the ability to reprogram our minds and bodies through the way we think and conduct ourselves. So good!ReplyCancel

    • October 13, 2017 - 9:53 am

      Diana Kerr - YES! I love Caroline Leaf. I have that book on my short list of books to read before the end of the year. Have you read other ones of hers? Would you say that one’s the best? I saw her speak a few years ago at Catalyst Conference and was BLOWN AWAY.

      Also continually blown away at how similar you and I are. haha :) I had a minor blog post reading binge of your posts this past week and I love them. :)ReplyCancel

  • October 3, 2017 - 10:59 pm

    Ellie - Thank you so much for sharing! You are so inspiring and have such great ideas and systems to make life run more smoothly. I had one question, what kids of things do you have on your personal CEO checklist? I would love to create one as well but want to know what kids of things go on it. Thanks so much for sharing all your previous lists with us. They are freeing!ReplyCancel

    • October 9, 2017 - 2:50 pm

      Diana Kerr - Hey Ellie! Great question. You can have a list of categories of things to brain dump and get out of your head, a list of things you want to schedule into the week, tasks such as online shopping or cleaning up your computer desktop or making a list of food to use up in the fridge or setting goals for the upcoming week… I also at this time during my CEO time look at my calendar + my to-do list (both of which are electronic) and I put down on paper just what I need for the next week. Start a list and play around with it to see what works for you… aim to make it complete but as simple as possible. :)ReplyCancel

I wrote this post for the Time of Grace blog about a previous shooting and thought now was an appropriate time to resurface it.

The Vegas shooting hits especially close to home as my sister just moved home to WI from Vegas in August. Two of her best friends were at the concert and escaped to safety. She would have likely been with them had she still lived there.

My heart feels very heavy today and my mind is dazed, but I’m comforted by these truths from my loving, rescuing God.


If you haven’t lost your life in a shooting lately, that means you’re still alive.

You’re left on earth to wrestle with everything that’s going on and how to deal with it. 

It seems like not long ago that a shooting was rare, far outside of the norm.

Now, the space of time between them feels like it’s shrinking and shrinking.

I wonder if at some point we will almost become numb to these senseless acts of violence.

If they don’t hit close to home, and they continue to increase in frequency, can we, will we, continue to mourn and grieve at the same level of intensity for each and every occurrence?

Maybe. Maybe not. But at this point, these events still feel suffocating and foreign.

On a walk this morning, as I saw flags at half-mast, I kept going over the shootings of this year in my head. My mind filled with difficult thoughts:

What does it feel like to be at your school, your mall, or your place of worship and suddenly find yourself with a gun pointed at your face, your life teetering on the brink of abruptly ending? I wondered.

What does it feel like to watch others die before you, or what thoughts cross your mind in the moments from when you’re shot to when the pain finally ends forever? I couldn’t avoid the thoughts, as uncomfortable as they were.

As I continued my walk, I observed people I passed by, working in their yards, getting in their cars, or walking their dogs—going about their everyday lives. I saw their legs and arms move and their lungs take breaths, and I imagined their hearts beating inside them as their blood moved oxygen through their bodies.

And I realized just how deeply, precariously fragile we all are. 

I rarely, rarely stop to consider the fact that a million things have to go right for my body to keep working, and a million things have to not go wrong for me to not suddenly be taken from this world tragically and unexpectedly.

Since sin entered the world, our bodies and this earth are longer meant to be permanent, sustainable, and long-lasting. These spaces we inhabit inside an outer casing of skin are just tents, just temporary dwellings. 

Yet, for some reason, my fragile tent is still standing. So is yours. 

Maybe your tent is a little damaged like mine is. Maybe it’s got some battle wounds from fighting illness or hardship.

But the truth is that if you’re reading this blog post, you are still on this planet and you are still alive.

Once upon a time, God dreamed up your existence. He created you with intricate, intentional craftsmanship. Psalm 139:13 compares our creation to the tedious task of knitting: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

And if you’re still alive, if you still have breath in your lungs, there’s still a purpose for you here on earth. 

There are a number of ways we can respond to the violence in our world:

We can pray about it (and we should).

We can take to social media and post about the atrocity, or change our profile pictures to show our support.

We can proclaim to our friends and family that the world is “going to hell.”

We can worry about how hopeless we feel, how unable we are to do anything about what’s going on.

But we can do something greater than all of that.

We can live. 

That’s still God’s plan for us—to be alive.

What would it look like if we embraced that? 

Ephesians 2:10 says that “we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

So if you haven’t lost your life in a shooting lately, I encourage you to live. I encourage you to lean into the purpose for which God has called you.

Acts of violence cause pain and terror, but they bring a gift: They remind us of our short stay in our earthly tents. 

And as a result, shootings, terrorist acts, and wars make it far less possible to live a life that’s meaningless, purposeless, self-centered, or apathetic. 

So whether today is your last or you’ve got thousands more to go, honor the life and purpose God created you for by actually living.

And by the way, don’t be fearful of that day when your tent gets taken away from you: 

For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. —2 Corinthians 5:1

Camping can be pretty fun—and I’m making the most of my earthly camping experience while it lasts.

But partying with God in my own personal mansion? That’s something to be pumped about.

Want to make the most of this life God’s gifted you? Click here to learn more about life coaching and apply for a free Clarity Call.

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  • October 3, 2017 - 9:14 am

    Karen - Great article. We are always “shocked” at these things happening and yet Solomon told us many times, “There is nothing new under the sun.” Horrific violence has been going on since the beginning of time but it just seems to evolve in different forms. I, as you, also noticed how many people here and not near the event went on about their day and it all seemed so surreal. That is how I felt the day of 9-11 as my preschooler swam in a pool with no awareness of what was going on in her world around her. When my daughter Erica shared that her two close Vegas friends had been at the concert but had escaped safely, I was just leaving to attend my mid-day Monday Bible study. The prayer I requested there was this: 1. A prayer of thanks that Emily and Sarah escaped safely. 2. A prayer that Emily and Sarah realize that God’s mercies are new every day and that he spared them for his purpose, that they are still here for a reason. 3. A prayer for our affiliated churches in Las Vegas– that they embrace this opportunity for the Lord to share the great hope we have in Jesus amidst the chaos and confusion. 4. A prayer that all of us Christians stand up and take notice and don’t be compliant or have a, “Whew, it didn’t affect me” attitude. It DID affect us. Through evil, God uses it for his good. It rattles and shakes us and he uses it to encourage us to rise up and take this opportunity to start conversations with others about our great comfort and great hope that we have. When others will debunk and say, “If your God is such a loving God, why does he allow these things to happen?” we can reply, “Let me tell you about my God. He is bigger and greater than any of this evil. Let me tell you about my God and what he did for me… a soul just as wretched as the shooter. ” 1 Peter 3:15– Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.ReplyCancel

This post originally appeared on the Time of Grace blog.


One of the most interesting date nights my husband and I had last summer was to see a documentary called Minimalism.

Overall, there are a lot of things I love about the concept of minimalism—I doubt I’ll ever be an extreme minimalist, but I love the concept of having only the possessions I really need.

Let’s face it: there are a lot of pros to having less stuff:

  • More financial stability
  • More freedom
  • Less time spent on shopping, maintaining, moving, and cleaning stuff
  • Opportunities to rely on others if/when you need something you don’t have (One of the ways Kyle and I first got to know our next-door neighbors was by borrowing a ladder from them!)
  • A chance to practice contentment

With those pros in mind—and plenty others that this movie offered up—there was something missing.

See, according to this documentary, minimalism is basically the solution to your problems. Minimalism can allegedly even fix your broken relationships. 

I’m calling their bluff. 

At one point in the documentary, the filmmakers interviewed an expert who said something to the effect of, “You can never get enough of the thing you don’t actually want.” 

Let that one sink in. Whoa.

This documentary was totally secular, and this guy was referring only to stuff—that no matter how many possessions you fill your life with, they will never satisfy you because that’s not what you’re truly after in life.

My brain couldn’t stop thinking about it from a different angle, though . . .

Because, in the context of faith/Jesus/Christianity . . . that statement could not be more true.

The thing is, decluttering, getting skinny, making more money, having great friendships, making your home beautiful . . . all of those things do usually provide some benefits.

I feel happier having less stuff than I do when the clutter starts to pile up, but I’d be in big trouble if I thought that less stuff—or any of the things in the list above—was the be-all and the end-all.

No matter how much I get of those things, they will not truly bring me what I’m looking for in life. 

You may know that my profession is life coaching, so I will not deny that I am definitely a fan of personal growth and of making positive changes in life. I get so giddy about helping women get their business and lives in order, reduce stress, and find time for what matters most. I see the way it impacts them, their marriages, their families, and their relationship with God.

However, I know this truth: Nothing my clients improve in their lives that’s purely earthly will be the ticket to lasting satisfaction. (Thankfully, since my clients are Christian, they usually understand that too.) This is true for all of us.

I wanted to remind you of this super important truth today. If you’re in the midst of busyness in your business or personal life, head down, busting your butt for an end result, I pray you pause and consider what you really hope that end result will get you. Maybe what’s being sold as the magic answer or the magic solution—like minimalism, for example—won’t really get you what you’re after.

Because the very best goodness in life doesn’t come from hustling and achieving goals. Yes, those things can be really rewarding, and yes, goals can be to God’s glory (and I make sure that I set goals with my faith in mind!). But they pale in comparison to the joy, contentment, peace, mercy, and heaven that’s yours because Jesus sacrificed his life for you.

Can I get an Amen?

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18). 

Maybe “decluttering will solve my problems” isn’t the only lie you’re believing. Click here to snag a FREE workbook about the lies most Christian women believe about time that totally hold them back.

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  • November 9, 2017 - 2:23 pm

    Tiffany - Hi Diana, I have often thought of this! For all the reasons you mention I do love minimalism but as I dug into it more or more the Holy Spirit began convicting me. I started to realize I was relying on minimizing to solve problems with anxiety, and contentment when I needed to go to God first and foremost for those things. I think its wonderful to implement things like this, as long as they don’t take the place of God and become an obsession or an idolisitic type lifestyle – which it was becoming for me! I found that as I minimized and organized it became obsessive, if things were out of place my entire day was off-balance and I started realizing that God was proving to me once again that I needed to look to HIM first and other things second to sort out my life and instead of trying to gain control of my environment using these things, LET GO AND LET GOD!ReplyCancel

    • November 11, 2017 - 12:33 pm

      Diana Kerr - Amen, girl! I’m so glad God helped you realize those truths. NOTHING can truly satisfy us except Him! :) What else do we need besides Him, honestly? :) Thanks for your comment! It’s encouraging to hear from women who are on the same wavelength! :)ReplyCancel

PinITI’m not sure what prompted us to do it, but after my husband Kyle and I completed our first budget, we decided to pray about it. And just like that, praying about finances became a thing in our home.

It was January 2013—and we had that fresh budget sitting in front of us. We were excited and hopeful, but unsure.

We were ready to kiss our debt goodbye and had an ambitious timeline in mind to pay off all our debt besides our home in less than a year.

We solidified our budgeted numbers in each category with a bit of doubt as to whether it was even remotely possible to say within those small dollar amounts. (We did increase our spending in one area, though—giving. It just felt right; we didn’t want to skimp on God even though we were skimping everywhere else.)

With a fresh budget spreadsheet in place, we prayed about it. Like I said, I’m not even sure why the idea of praying about finances came to mind. Clearly it was the Holy Spirit’s nudging.

I mean, a lot of us Christians have been raised to pray for the classic things like safe travel, a grandparent’s surgery, a new baby, or a job interview, right? But money? We were pretty newly-married, and although we were both Christian, we hadn’t developed a very strong faith life as a couple up to that point. Praying about finances was just not something I think we’d ever even thought of before.

So what did we pray? We prayed that God would bless our efforts, that he would display his glory through us, and that he would help us become better stewards. We wanted to take better care of the gifts he had entrusted us with so we could bless others.

If you’re someone who’s prayed before, you know that God doesn’t always answer prayer as blatantly as we’d like. In our case, though, he seemed to answer our prayers with a bold, clear yes.

Can I share with you some of the amazing ways God worked, to praise him for his goodness and to encourage you that praying about finances is worthwhile? Okay, thanks. :)

Remember how I said we had an ambitious timeline for paying off our debt? Well, actually, our goal was more than ambitious. We wanted to pay off $30,000 of debt by the end of the year, a feat we thought was almost impossible given our earnings and the fact that we owned a home.

It was kind of one of those “Reach for the moon and hope to land among the stars” kind of goals. Set a goal to pay off our debt in a year, and hopefully we’d make it by 18 months or so.

God far exceeded our expectations. Our debt was paid off by August—eight months from when we set the goal.

Over the course of that year, time after time we experienced circumstances that seemed beyond coincidence. I actually started a Google Doc to list everything that was happening, titling it “Financial blessings beyond coincidence.”

Some examples:

  • We had virtually no car repairs on two very old vehicles during that time.
  • Both Kyle and I had job opportunities placed before us that year which raised our earnings by about 25%.
  • Our fridge made loud, awful noises until we decided to finally get it repaired—but before we got around to calling about the repair, the noises suddenly stopped for months.
  • We got an unexpected refund check in the mail from our insurance company for a doctor’s appointment from over two years prior.
  • Our neighbors gave us a grocery store gift card in a month when we had already exceeded our grocery budget. (Their teenage son accidentally backed into my old, beat-up car and I don’t think they believed me that the big dent they thought he caused had already been there.)

To top it all off, when we were just about done paying off our debt, I found out that we had won a debt scholarship essay contest I had entered. The financial services company sponsoring the contest hadn’t stated exactly how much the prize money would be upfront because there was a chance they’d split it up a bit. The prize was $2,000. Guess how much debt we had left to pay off? Almost exactly $2,000.

God taught us so many valuable lessons during that year. I think one of the greatest lessons we learned was to pray boldly.

God doesn’t guarantee us he’ll give us what we want simply because we pray, but he does guarantee he’ll listen. Over and over in the Bible he tells us to ask him for what we want and need. So why don’t we do that more often? Why don’t we make praying about finances a habit? I think we feel like the very earthly things of life, like a budget, don’t really warrant prayer.

God cares about those earthly things, though. He cares a lot. Take a moment to bring your financial worries or goals before your Almighty God with a sincere heart. Be assured he’s hearing you. Then marvel at how he answers them.

Need a tool to help make prayer more consistent, more meaningful, and less difficult/awkward? I recommend Val Marie Paper’s prayer journals! Her 2018 Yearly Prayer Journal is on sale now for a limited time!

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This post originally appeared on the Time of Grace blog.


Six years ago this month, I married the love of my life. It was a perfect and beautiful day, not to mention a perfect wedding date: 9-10-11. I was beyond excited to move into our first apartment together and to learn so much more about this wonderful new husband of mine as we lived side by side for the first time.

What I didn’t expect, though, was how many things no one had told me about marriage and how much being married would teach me about myself.

Everyone expects marriage to take you to a whole new level with your knowledge of your spouse, but I didn’t realize I’d end up at a whole new level with how well I knew myself too.

And honestly, the things I learned about myself weren’t always good things. Conducting my daily life in such close proximity to another human being put a magnifying glass on a few things about me that I hardly even realized before, things that were often uncomfortable:

  1. My quirks—Having someone watch your every move means they’re going to occasionally point out some things about you that you never knew before—sometimes, things you don’t necessarily want or need to know. For one, I talk too much in social situations when I’m uncomfortable, something I hadn’t noticed till my husband brought it up. I’d say that’s a helpful quirk to know about. On the other hand, some quirks just are what they are. One day my husband and I were eating dinner and he started laughing. “Do you realize you stick your tongue out every time you take a sip out of a glass?” I’ve felt weird about it ever since.
  2. My insecurities—I’ll admit I’ve never been a super-secure person, but marriage made me hyperaware of all my insecurities. Why? Because for the first time, my insecurities affected a lot more than just me—they affected the man I shared my life with. Whether it was related to body image or wanting people to like me or my fear of being average or my tendency to feel guilty about not being good enough, marriage made me confront insecurities that I had done little to fix up until then.
  3. My approach toward money—Like I confessed in the story I wrote about our debt repayment (which, praise God, won us $2,000 toward paying off that debt), sharing all my money with someone for the first time and having to agree upon financial decisions wasn’t always simple or easy. Before then, I never had to have a conversation with someone if I wanted to save, spend, or invest; I just did what I wanted to do. Talking things through with Kyle, having to state my opinions, and dealing with the stress of realizing on our one-year wedding anniversary that we were not taking our finances nearly seriously enough brought to the forefront exactly how I felt about money. It took me rebuilding my approach to money in a healthier way for us to be able to become debt-free (minus our house) by age 24, but it would never have happened otherwise.
  4. The things I value—Along the lines of #3, having a husband (which, it turns out, is quite different than just sharing a room with your sister or an apartment with a college roommate) made me realize what it was that was really important to me. A lot of those values weren’t bad by any means, but one caused some tension pretty often. Kyle and I butt heads very infrequently, but when we did disagree in the first couple years, it was usually because of my strong tendency to place a high value on productivity. Kyle works hard, but then has no problem doing enjoyable activities outside of work hours even with plenty of to-dos on his list. I, on the other hand, didn’t even like watching TV because I felt it was a waste of time. Which brings me to #5 . . .

Are you a productivity-loving girl like I am? Does that sometimes not go so well for you? (Yeah, I thought so. I get it.) Click here for a freebie to help you tackle that challenge! 

  1. My tendency to love others according to what feels best to meI remember clearly a lightbulb conversation in our marriage when I realized that I was loving Kyle according to my love language, not his. “Acts of service” is my top love language, so while Kyle was “wasting time” watching TV one day in the basement, I was slaving away baking some healthy muffins for him to show him I cared about him. What a failure that was for a woman married to a man whose primary love language is “quality time.” My desire to show him love in a way that made me feel good about myself was actually getting in the way of what he really wanted—me snuggled up next to him on the couch while watching TV, something that makes him feel (much to my confusion) happy and loved.

I thank God for what marriage has taught me and how he’s used marriage to shine a spotlight on some areas of my life that aren’t always so pretty. After just six years of marriage, I’m sure I have a lot more to learn about myself as time goes on. I look forward to it. I think I’ve grown up and matured a lot from all that knowledge. And thankfully, I have a patient husband who loves me unconditionally despite the fact that I’m flawed.

You know what else marriage magnified for me? What unconditional love looks like. Thanks to Kyle, I’m reminded each day of how God feels about me and how much he loves me even when I screw up. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.


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